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Jessica | 16 | I'm a lot of things

amberisntacrayon:

I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.

bl-ossomed:

one of my favorite quotes
steve-spaghetti:

renirabbit:

pizzalecki:

pkmnbreederbrianna:

togamijail:

chandra75:

im-sherlocked-in-my-mindpalace:

socially-awkward-supervillian:

Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs

jesus that is good to know.

Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten. 

REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit
my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies

Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs. So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying.So what’d they do? They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs!The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!

AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS

this post just got so much better

THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST

cheatcommandos:

intosnarkness:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember that one time i had to fly with my cello so we bought it a seat

and it got upgraded to first class

without me

i hate being that guy who adds onto a text post but my dad is a cellist and he has to buy a seat for his cello every time he has to fly somewhere for a show and the cello has become such a valued customer for airlines that we regularly get mail addressed to “Cello Friesen” for airfare deals and stuff

the-symbol-of-hope:

mconalds:

why do white people do this to themselves

This is too weird for me.

gnarly:

its gotten to the point where i even procrastinate while taking showers and when people ask me why i take so long i dont even know what to reply

dr-watsons-lover:

foreveralone-lyguy:

landorus:

fuck bees

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